California Family Law Lawyers
How to Get What You Want from the Family Law Judge
Last Updated: October 13, 2026 
Reading time: Est 3 minutes 
Your judge is human. They do not know your family or situation beyond what you present in court. It is your responsibility to provide the judge with the information they need to make a decision in your favor. Without the right information, presented clearly and effectively, you will not achieve the result you want.
It is important to understand that unless something significant has changed in your case, the law generally favors maintaining the status quo. As the saying goes, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” However, changes may be necessary if they will improve the situation or reflect current circumstances. Sometimes, the mere passage of time can warrant a change in the order.
If you are advocating to keep things the same, you need to show the judge that no significant change has occurred to justify a new court order and that the current arrangement is working well. Provide specific examples of how maintaining the current order produces the best outcome. The more compelling your examples, the stronger your argument. If your examples are weak, you risk showing the judge that the current arrangement is not ideal, and they may be more inclined to make a change.
On the other hand, if you are seeking a modification, you must provide specific, significant examples of how the proposed change will produce better results. Each change you request will likely require a court order, and every court order must be supported by substantial justification. To do this, you need to present a clear, concise, and compelling story with facts that demonstrate the importance of each order you are requesting.
Another crucial point to understand is the concept of burdens and standards of proof. If you are the one requesting the court order, you bear the burden of proving why the court should grant it. The standard of proof dictates how much evidence is required to meet this burden. In most family law matters, the standard of proof is “more likely than not.” This means you must show that it is more likely than not that you are entitled to the order you are requesting. The judge will weigh your argument against the opposition’s and determine which side is more likely to be correct. In numerical terms, the winning party must prove their case by 50.0001%.
To succeed in court, you need to know your audience (the judge), know what you want, understand what you need to prove, and how much evidence you need to meet the standard of proof. By applying this strategy, along with the proper use of forms, declarations, and discovery, you increase your chances of winning—provided you meet your burden and the standard of proof required.
Schank Family Law
Attorney Christian L. Schank founded Schank Family Law in 2003. With eight offices and a Certified Family Law Specialist on staff, the firm handles divorce, custody, support, and property matters in courts across the state.